Elephant Stew Recipes

Steps:

• 1. Cut elephant meat into bite-sized pieces (this will take about two months).
• 2. Cut vegetables into cubes (another two months).
• 3. Plave meat in a pan and cover with 1,000 gallons of brown gravy. Simmer for four weeks.
• 4. Shovel in salt and pepper to taste
• 5. When meat is tender, add vegetables ( a steam shovel is useful for this ).
• 6. Simmer slowly for four more weeks.
• 7. Garnish with parsley
• 8. Serves 3,800
• 9. If more is expected, add two rabbits.
• 10. This is not recommended, however, as very few people like hare in their stew.

Steps:

• 1. Cut the elephant into small bite-size pieces; this should take about 2 months.
• 2. Salt and pepper, enough brown gravy to cover.
• 3. Cook over kerosene fire for about 4 weeks at 465 degrees.
• 4. This will serve 2800 people. If more are expected, 2 rabbits may be added, but do this only if necessary, as some people do not like to find a hare in their stew.

Steps:

• Cut elephant into bite size pieces. This should take about 2 months. Save the trunk. You will need something to put the pieces in.
• Put cut up elephant into a very large kettle. Add brown gravy to cover.
• Cook over a fire at 465 degrees for about 4 weeks.
• This will serve 3800 but if more people are expected, add the rabbits. Do this only if necessary, as most people do not like to find hare in their stew.
• Laugh and enjoy!

Steps:

• 1. Cut elephant into bit size pieces. (This should take about two months.) Place into a large pressure cooker and add enough water to cover. Add seasonings and cook at 400º for four weeks.
• 2. Add potatoes after 3 1/2 weeks. This will serve 3,800 people. If more are expected, the two rabbits may be added. Do this only if necessary as most people don't like hare in their stew. hahahahaha

Steps:

• In a large heavy kettle, heat 3 tablespoons oil.
• Roll beef cubes in flour, then brown in hot oil.
• While this is cooking, add nutmeg and chili powder.
• When meat is browned, add onion, garlic, water, red pepper to taste, and tomato sauce.
• Simmer until meat is tender, about 1 hour.
• If desired, add carrots and peas while stew is simmering.
• A few minutes before serving, heat peanut butter and remaining 2 tablespoons oil (this can be done in the microwave).
• Stir peanut butter mixture into beef stew over low heat.
• Let simmer 15 minutes, until peanut butter is absorbed.
• Serve over steamed rice with hot sauce on the side.

Steps:

• Cut elephant into bite size pieces.
• This should take about 2 months.
• Add enough brown gravy to cover.
• Cook over hot fire for 3 weeks.
• This will serve 3800 people.
• If more are expected, the two rabbits may be added, but do this only if necessary as most people do not like to find hare in their stew.

Steps:

• Cut elephant into bite-size pieces.
• This takes about 2 months.
• Using large kettles, simmer equal parts elephant and vegetables with enough broth to cover.
• Cook for a couple days.
• If more are expected add the rabbits, but do this only if necessary.
• Most people don't like to find hare in their stew.

Steps:

• Put the beef in a medium bowl. Grind the ginger slices with a mortar and pestle, adding them a few at a time until you have extracted most of the juice, or use a mini-chop to make a wet paste. Squeeze the juice from the fibers (you should have 1 1/2 to 2 tablespoons) and stir it into the beef; discard the ginger solids. Let the beef marinate for at least 10 minutes.
• Meanwhile, make the paste: Blend all the ingredients in a blender until smooth, 2 to 3 minutes.
• Heat the oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the paste and cook, stirring occasionally, until the flavors are released, about 2 minutes. Stir in the beef, sugar, fish sauce, soy sauce, salt, pepper and broth. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to low and simmer, partially covered, until the liquid is reduced by half, about 40 minutes.
• Add the coconut and tamarind juices and cook for another 20 minutes. If the sauce is too thin at this point, increase the heat and reduce further; the sauce should be fairly thick.
• Garnish with cilantro sprigs and serve with cucumber slices and rice.

Steps:

• After the 60 days it takes to dice the elephant, put in a 5 ton casserole. Add salt, pepper, onion and simmer gently for 6 weeks.
• During the last seven minutes, add the macaroni.
• This serves 3,462 guests. If the guests bring guests, add the rabbits, but only if absolutely necessary because most people don't like to find hare in their stew.
• Ok -- so the first recipe was a funny -- but funnies feed the soul too!